it is dicey doings
her being in the flat alone by herself
only cat and plants to keep her company
and measly guests are they
the cat doesn't care
and the plants are just there to be left alone
(like she was, but w/ less complex needs)
so out of boredom she begins to smoke, and keeps it up for hours, and ends up so high her nose bleeds
reflexively, cause to effect w/a regular beat
striking cruelly unusual & inopportune in spades w/rhythm that speaks
to inflicted serendipity not wholly random
it will pause, then continue after tension builds to significant levels
her pores outpour her own imagination, rivers run red
it's a catch and release kind of game
between her and her brain
she feels her mind losing spawn by the roe-load and she can't for the life off her nose figure out what is different now
why this time pushed her over the randomest cliff into sure & shitty things abyss
down here in the dumps,
the hazard seems ramped up
the hap diminished significantly
& her nostrils erupt—goodbye cranial effluvia; i can take a hint—like there is a hand lending weight to the scale, pushing red from her face, a rainbow thru a meat grinder to squeeze the lowest lambdas loose
her cheeks feel bruised
there comes a forceful torsion to it
she coerces her own body to rebel against her normal coping mechanisms, to hope w/o reason her free will will free her mortal soul from fucking
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